Working Mom Guilt

Every year right before Thanksgiving, our ward primary (3-12 year old group at church) does "cheer baskets."  Every kid brings 5 individual items to share and they basket them up and take them to the older people in around town. 
Last year I sent my boys with baggies of  leftover Halloween candy.
I have an excuse.  We had returned from my mom's funeral just a few days before cheer basket day and I was just plain overwhelmed.
But a year later, I am feeling pretty danged guilty.  You know, being the working mom who sends her kids to the activity with non-homemade goodies.
So I made up for it by staying up until midnight Wednesday making cinnamon rolls. 
Yes, you read that right:  midnight. 
This was after I had rushed home from work to make a cake to take to the school Veteran's Day program.  This was after the program. 
Did anyone but me care that G had homemade cinnamon rolls for the baskets?  Probably not, but my guilt is lessened.
I can't be the only mom who has the working mom guilt....

Welcome to Junior High

I am over 40 and I am fairly intelligent.  Most of the time, I am fairly confident, but wow! the whole Bloggy Boot Camp thing threw me for a loop.  I packed and unpacked.  I agonized over my clothes.  I agonized over the size of my butt and the fact that my shoes are dumb.  I told The Dad that I would be the only frumpy person there and no one would talk to me. 
Quite frankly, I turned into the person I'd been at 13. 
The Dad calmed my nerves and reminded me that he believes all the Twitter ladies are serial killers and what did I care if serial killers liked my shoes or not?  (By the way, he has met @nettefrawl and @supernovia, and he realizes that they are not, in fact, serial killers.)
By the time I got to dinner Friday night, I had worked myself back into a frenzy of uncoolness. 
I walked into the restaurant with a lot of trepidation, but decided to pretend to be cool.
I recognized some of my twitter friends and introduced myself and that's all it took.  I had a great time. 

More Than I Signed Up For

Being the mom of a diabetic kid is not easy on a normal day.  Being the mom of a diabetic kid on Halloween is beyond crap.  I kid you not.
Last year, when G's diabetes was fresh in everyone's mind, there were people in our community that had special trick or treat stuff for him.  This was pretty cool and made me really appreciate our community.  This year, G is back to being a normal kid in everyone's mind.  Even though they all know he's diabetic, it's just part of him and he's just one of the mess of 4th grade boys trick or treating through town.
Needless to say, G got a pillowcase full of candy.  None of it healthy.  It's hard to watch him be one of the few kids in class who didn't have Halloween candy in his lunch.  We have been battling low and high blood sugars and the moodiness that goes with it all week.
Most of the candy is gone now so hopefully we can have a couple of good weeks until Thanksgiving.
Hopefully....

Thinking

Yesterday I had the opportunity (!?) to take our school's quiz bowl team to its first match of the season.  We left at 6:30 AM.  It was dark and, as teenagers love few things in life more than sleep, very quiet. 
We had a 100 mile drive, so I had nearly 2 hours of thinking time.
I spent a lot of time thinking about my mom.   I miss her and I wonder if I will ever have an October/November that isn't spent thinking about her all the time.
 I still think about calling her.

Starting Out

So seriously, I've been thinking of doing this for a long time.  I read other people's blogs.  I have words in my head, but I have procrastinated.  Now it is being forced upon me because I am taking a class.

So now I'm posing as a blogger.  It took me a long time to not feel that I was posing as a teacher, and I still, quite often, feel that I am posing as a mom and wife. 

Who will read my words?  I guess that's what made me procrastinate in the first place.  What if someone reads them and thinks I'm stupid?  What if no one reads them?

I've made the first step.  I'm sure I will have lots to say in the future about teaching, living in isolation, being a mom, diabetes, and all the other things that make up my world.